Beware of Heirlooms

"Aunt Baker" of Dublin New Hampshire (5084522184)Advice for a new knitter:
When choosing a pattern, look for ones that have words such as “simple,” “basic,” and “easy.”
If you see the words “intriguing,” “challenging,” or “intricate,” look elsewhere.
If you happen across a pattern that says “heirloom,” slowly put down the pattern and back away.
“Heirloom” is knitting code for “This pattern is so difficult that you would consider death a relief.”

from At Knit’s End: Meditations for Women Who Knit Too Much, by Stephanie Pearl-McPhee, a.k.a. the Yarn Harlot

S.A.B.L.E.

Yarn makes me happy

SABLE: a common knitting acronym that stands for Stash Acquisition Beyond Life Expectancy.

“At some point in a dedicated knitter’s career, he hits this point of yarn ownership. He discovers that he has so much yarn that even if he were never to buy even one more ball or skein, and even if he were to knit full-time from now until the hour of his death, he couldn’t knit it all in his lifetime. This amount of yarn is highly variable, of course, and depends on factors such as knitting speed and the age of the knitter in question.

Achieving the state of SABLE is not, as many people who live with these knitters believe, a reason to stop buying yarn, but for the knitter it is an indication to write a will, bequeathing the stash to an appropriate heir.

from At Knit’s End: Meditations for Women who Knit Too Much
by Stephanie Pearl-McPhee, a.k.a. the Yarn Harlot

Knitters and Cats

he ate the swallow

The best reason for a knitter to marry is that you can’t teach the cat to be impressed when you finish a lace scarf.
Despite our diversity, the tendency to be accompanied by a cat is an oddity among knitters that cannot be explained.

Stephanie Pearl-McPhee, At Knit’s End: Meditations for Women Who Knit Too Much