A tiger, a sheep and a goat go shopping…

My pet theory (one of them – I keep a menagerie) is that there are two basic kinds of shopping: tiger shopping and sheep shopping.

Roncalli-tiger hg

The tiger knows just what she wants. She knows where such things are likely to be found. She stalks her prey, she selects the juiciest from the herd of possibilities and – she pounces!
Should the tiger’s preferred prey elude her, she will not waste her time running after something else. No. She will retire to her tree and sulk. And when she’s got over her sulk, she’ll go hunting again.
Tigers are also noted for teaching their offspring to hunt the same way.

In marked contrast to this is sheep shopping. The sheep prefers a more laid-back style of shopping – frequently as part of a sociable flock. The sheep mosey from place to place, having a nibble here and a nibble there. They graze as they wander along, stopping now and then to munch down a particularly tasty morsel. The sheep is not looking for anything in particular, she’s just seeing what catches her eye.

sheep

Both approaches have their good points and their bad points. Tiger-shoppers seldom waste money; but they sometimes use up a lot of time looking for just the right thing – especially since they don’t shop as often as sheep shoppers and don’t necessarily know what’s available where at the moment. This also means they’re less likely to own stuff they don’t really like.

Sheep-shoppers spend lots of time shopping as a matter of course, but don’t get stressed about it as they aren’t aiming for efficiency and are probably socializing as they go in any case. They do often waste money, though, because it’s quite hard to spend significant time shopping without buying anything. They are more likely to be dissatisfied with their purchase(s) once the “new thing!” buzz dies away.

If you carry sheep shopping to the extreme, you get goat shopping. Goats will go anywhere and consume anything, with a complete lack of discrimination.

Mombasa-goats eating posters

Goat shopping results in having too much stuff and not enough money. It is bad for you, the environment and everything in between. Do not act the goat.

And speaking of acting the goat, did you hear about William Windsor trying to headbutt a drummer during a Queen’s Birthday parade? True story!

Which kind of shopper are you? Tiger, sheep, goat, or a mix of all three? I prefer tiger-shopping myself, but I spend a lot of time sulking in my tree. And sometimes I make a baaaad decision (sorry!) and buy something that isn’t quite what I wanted, just because – unlike what I wanted – it was there.

Venturing into the Darkness

Something terrible happened to me this week. Well, something wonderful which led to something terrible. I hit the 4,000 word mark on Monday (yay!) so I went to reward myself with a new exercise book (yay!) but the bookshop I go to didn’t have what I was looking for (oh noes!) so I had to venture into the darkness of the mall (the horror!).

"The nightmare before christmas"

No, the power wasn’t out – that was last year’s Christmas rush. It was brightly lit and full of people – a few too many for my tastes. (I do like people, I just don’t like them all at once…) It’s not even Advent yet and the commercial push for Christmas – or rather Xmas – is already well underway. Tinsel trees, fake snow (we seldom have snow here, and when we do, it’s usually August) and a thousand and one tacky forms of a fat man in red.

Santa Sack

I don’t think St Nicholas would be best pleased to find himself associated with such. After all, he wasn’t known for being an obese champion of conspicuous consumption.

He was known for helping people who were no longer able to help themselves – like the three young women facing a choice between prostitution and starvation. In an early ring-the-doorbell-and-run-away caper, he dropped a bag of gold down their chimney and legged it.

Much less dodgy than Santa Claus, who is not only more nosy than the NSA, but likes sneaking into people’s houses while they’re asleep.

st nicholas of myra

No-one in the mall seemed to be enjoying themselves (besides my brief transport of delight at finally finding what I was looking for) and I started to wonder why we do this to ourselves.
This year, instead of running ourselves ragged spending our hard-earned on stuff neither we nor the recipients particularly want, why not be Saint Nick for someone else?

Freeset specialize in giving women a choice other than prostitution or starvation – and if you really love giving gifts, they make a great range of bags and t-shirts.

The International Justice Mission works for those who are denied freedom and/or justice – victims of child prostitution, forced labour and many other forms of injustice.

We Can Save Lives, But Will We?

What better way to commemorate the birth of a baby into poverty and oppression, who defeated the oppressors not by violence, but by Doing Things Differently – and turning the world upside down?

What’s in it for me, you ask?
You get to avoid the mall.