How Do You Like Them Apples?

If I had a dollar for every time I found a recipe which called itself ‘simple’ but was actually simple only to those with larders like specialty stores and a mis-spent youth watching food-related television, I would be… well, marginally more plutocratic than at present.

This baked apple recipe, however, actually is simple. It has few ingredients, many of them optional or variable, and the processing required is minimal. Nor will it have a noticeable effect on your power bill as it does not require an oven to be heated, thus greatly speeding up the whole process.

Bramley's Seedling Apples

First, catch your apple – the more or less compulsory part of the recipe. In my case, it is a Bramley from the back garden. Ballarat apples are also suitable (albeit less fluffy once cooked) or, probably, any other kind of cooking apple. I haven’t tried this with any but the two apples named, as this is an unspectacular two-person kitchen, not the National Baked Apple Research Laboratory. Which, I’m sorry to tell you, is not a thing.

Now, if your apple was provided to you as part of a paid transaction involving your local grocer, a supermarket etc, you can probably proceed straight to the next step and disembowel it (i.e. remove the core). If, however, like myself, you pluck your apples fresh from the tree (or grass beneath), you may need to detour past the rather less pleasant step of deworming the apple.

Either way, the approach is pretty much the same: seize apple and knife and use the latter to carve out of the former anything you don’t fancy eating – stem, seeds, codling moth larvae, frass…

Gravenstein apples with codling moth

Once your apple is cleaned and gutted, dip it in egg and then in flour and fry it in the – no, sorry, that’s fish. Once your apple is cleaned and gutted, put it in a bowl with sides higher than the apple. I put mine in upside down because they seem more stable that way.

In a separate, potentially smaller, bowl, combine a good spoonful or two of sugar (I use brown), along with any other ingredients that take your fancy: half a teaspoon or so of spices (cinnamon, ginger and mixed spice, in my case), chopped nuts, dessicated coconut, dried fruit… however you like them apples.

Spoon this tasty mixture into the cavity (or cavities) in your apple, cover the bowl with a splatter cover, and microwave for two to three minutes. The splatter cover is essential, particularly if you are using the sort of apple that fluffs up its insides enormously when cooked and do not view microwave-cleaning as the highlight of a great day in.

Bratapfel Bräter 4

Remove carefully (bowl may be hot) and seize spoon – to reduce dishwashing, the spoon with which you stirred and spooned the filling mixture. The sugar, spice and everything nice may well have turned into… a little girl? Don’t be ridiculous. Sauce, treacling about in the bottom of the bowl. One can then scoop out spoonfuls of piping apple flesh and dip them in the sauce before consuming. Delectable.

TL;DR: take yuk bits out of apple, replace with yummy stuff, microwave 2-3 min, eat.

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