Quote: Feelings (and an Award)

“it’s a feeling not a reality, and it’s temporary; when you’re in it, it feels like you always have been and always will be, but that’s an illusion.”
Chaos Girl

Chaos Girl is one of the bloggers I follow, and she has very kindly nominated me for the Very Inspiring Blogger Award.

She is, like me, an eccentric (yay!) and her posts are full of wit, wisdom, and best of all, honesty: we are none of us as perfect as we generally pretend to be, and that’s ok. Highly recommended for a refreshing read of reality.

There are two difficulties inherent in accepting this award: the technicalities of putting the award plaque in the right places on the blog (Chaos Girl has mercifully provided detailed instructions!) and selecting fifteen bloggers to pass the award on to!

That being the case, those I nominate don’t have to accept and do likewise; it is an obligation-free compliment 🙂

The Rules:
1) The nominee shall display the Very Inspiring Blogger Award logo on her/his blog, and link to the blog they got nominated from.

2) The nominee shall nominate fifteen (15) bloggers she/he admires, by linking to their blogs and informing them about it.

The Bloggers (in no particular order):

Ideophilus: he challenges my assumptions, he helps me see things from entirely new perspectives, and he always claims it’s his fault if I don’t understand 🙂 Inspiring in print and in person (and I should know, he’s my husband).

Esther Van Kuyk is (among many other things) a talented illustrator who engages with serious issues without forgetting the simple joys of life – and a great friend. Her work is available on cards and t-shirts: my favourite is the hedgehog – so cute (a correct use of the word!)

Andrea Eames of A Cat of Impossible Colour is a fellow interculturalite*, as well as an elegant, talented author.

Kristen Lamb provides the perfect blend of challenge, encouragement, and laugh-out-loud humour. Must-read for budding writers; highly recommended for anyone else looking for a good read.

K.B. Owen, Mystery Writer writes mysteries, yes, but she blogs about weird and wacky history, holidays, food, and all kinds of fun stuff. Have a look!

The Tiny Farm is a lovely little blog about moving toward a sustainable lifestyle without four acres and a cow. Very much a ‘join me on the journey’ blog rather than a ‘behold my awesomeness you eco-terrorist’ kind of blog – very encouraging!

The Dreamstress is all about historical clothing – studying it, recreating it, wearing it, and most of all having fun with it. Fascinating, accessible, and very easy on the eyes.

Dr Beth of Throwim Way Leg recounts the ups and downs of being a doctor in the back of beyond, PNG. Not suitable for those with delicate stomachs!

Cation Designs shows how enjoyably creative geekiness can be, sewing a mix of stylish everyday items and hugely fun costume pieces, among other creative endeavours. Also sometimes pictures of her gorgeous cat Walnut.

Sara Litchfield of Right Ink on the Wall is a talented writer and editor who also thinks about the big questions in life: what do we leave behind us when we go? Keep an eye out for her novella The Night Butterflies, coming out next month!

Gwyneth Hyndman of Sweet Home California is a much-travelled writer, journalist and general free-lancer who is the epitome of the life-long learner – always going someplace or trying something new! We were classmates back in our Wellington days…

Malcolm Guite is proof that form does not limit creativity, but rather provides scope for it, with his beautifully balanced sonnets circling the canonical calendar (among others). His Stations of the Cross sonnets are my particular favourites: I reread them every year.

Seven Miles of Steel Thistles is the place to go for “fairytales, folklore, fantasy, myths, legends, and children’s literature” in Katherine Langrish’s own words. Always a fascinating read.

Worthwhile Books is an unashamed book snob, so if you’re looking for reading recommendations that have screened out the mindless pap, stop by!

The eponymous Editor of the Editor’s Journal takes pop culture’s latest and asks questions which invite discussion and actually make you think before you comment. Refreshing and deservedly popular.

So there you have it: fifteen blogs I find inspiring, in one way or another. Or rather sixteen, because of Chaos Girl, who I’m not allowed to nominate 🙂

*a neologism, as far as I know. As with everything else on this blog, it’s under a Creative Commons licence, so help yourself!

Someday

They say that everyone needs something to do, someone to love, and something to look forward to.
But what if the looking forward takes over? What if you are living for the day to come, instead of the day you have?

I was reading the archives of A Cat of Impossible Colour recently and this post rang a bell with me. In fact, for a few minutes there I was a full peal of bells (except quieter).

Cathedrale Notre-Dame de Paris nef nouvelles cloches

Number four especially struck a chord – can you strike chords with bells? Students of campanology are welcome to advise.

As you are no doubt aware, I eagerly await the day when the DDJ and I can permanently part company. Among my circle of friends and acquaintances (but not workmates, for obvious reasons) I am becoming almost a joke about it.

But as Andrea Eames (A, or quite possibly The Cat of Impossible Colour) says:

“There is no magical point in the future at which everything will fall into place and be perfect. If I’m going to be happy and do the things I want to do, I have to do them now. I can’t wait for everything to be harmonious. For example, saying “I can’t possibly write a novel now, the house is a mess. I’ll wait till we move” is silly because when we move things will be in even greater chaos for a while. And then something else will come along to help me procrastinate. So my insight here is: there is no point in the future when I will be slim, fit, have perfect skin and hair, have harmonious relationships with everyone in my life, be fulfilled, happy, tidy, clean and generally perfect. It’s impossible, and striving for it will only make me anxious.”

I can’t wait for Someday, as deeply as I long for it, as much as it seems all my troubles would evaporate in the face of that dawn.

A new dawn

I have to live now.
I have to write now.

I have long struggled with the feeling that I have to have every other part of my life in order and under control before I can be permitted to write. Particularly the housework.

I have been getting better of late at putting the distraction of dust aside in order to use what time I have to write (although there are those who feel I may have the fulcrum of this particular balance rather too far to one end).

But the truth is that I’m never going to get all those plates to spin. My house is never going to look like this.

Showhome Living Room

I remember being distressed almost to the point of tears when I was told, in my mid-teens, that adult life didn’t contain enough time for all the things you Had to do, let alone time for the things you actually wanted to do. I would still like to believe that isn’t necessarily true, but right now, that’s how it seems to be.

I do not have the time – and/or energy – to work full time, keep house, maintain relationships with friends and family near and far, deepen my spiritual life and write.
At some point I have to come to terms with being labelled a failure in some parts of my life – even if the label is only inside my own head.

FAIL stamp

And maybe it won’t always be this way. Maybe balance is waiting just past the horizon, if I just keep trying.

But I believe that I should write, and I am quite certain that almost nothing else will get me out of bed half an hour before dawn, with the frost whitening the grass and my fingers almost too numb to grip the pen.

La bohème

I don’t get out of bed in the morning so I can go to a job I don’t like. I don’t get up so my house will be sparkly clean, or even a particularly nice place to be, as much as I would like it to be. I don’t get up for the Oughts.

I get up so I can write. So I can make one tiny step in the right direction. So no matter what else I achieve or don’t achieve, no matter how insignificant the constituent parts of my life may seem, I wrote. In this at least, I did not fail.

I did something that was important to me, and it may not have been much, but I did it. And I will keep doing it, even if that half hour of darkness is all I ever get. I will keep taking those tiny steps, as long as circumstances prevent me taking longer ones.

pies-encadenados

Because I can’t wait for Someday, as much as I long for it to appear.
I have to write now.
Because now is all I have.