Eccentric – Page 4 – Deborah Makarios

June 29, 2023June 29, 2023

William Wilberforce’s Bucket List

The bucket list is a relatively recent concept, being invented by screenwriter Justin Zackham – first with “Justin’s List of Things to Do Before I Kick the Bucket” (1999), and subsequently with the film The Bucket List (2007). But the idea of having goals you want to achieve before you die – well, that has a longer history.

Consider William Wilberforce, for example. In 1787, at the age of about 28, he wrote in his journal that, “God Almighty has set before me two great objects: the suppression of the slave trade and the reformation of manners.” (By “manners” he didn’t mean etiquette, but rather the manner of living practiced by society at large – what we might call lifestyle or culture.)

Portrait of William Wilberforce sitting with quill pen in hand at a desk covered in books and papers.

None of this “I want to do a bungee jump, and skydive, and go snorkelling in a tropical resort” stuff for Wilberforce. No, he cut straight to the big stuff: destroy the unethical underpinnings of the global economy, and reform the whole culture he lived in. And having fixed his sights on those goals, he threw everything he had at them.

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June 22, 2023June 22, 2023

Death by Pillow-Fight: Ridiculous French Royal Deaths

When it comes to French royals dying, Marie Antoinette always grabs the headlines. Madame la Guillotine has that effect. But if you look a bit further back in French history, there are royal deaths that make having your head chopped off look positively bourgeois in its uncomplicated straightforwardness.

Take Charles VIII, for example. While in residence at the Chateau of Amboise, he went with his queen to watch some courtiers playing tennis in the moat. (The moat would have been dry at the time, one presumes. Water polo is one thing; water tennis quite another.) They decided to watch from the Hacquelbac Gallery, described by a chronicler of the time, Philippe de Commynes, as “the most unseemly place within the house, since everybody used to piss there”.

medieval woodcut of men playing an early form of tennis without rackets, while others watch — The chaps on the far left are betting on the game. The players are wishing someone would hurry up and invent tennis racquets. The chap in the middle has just realized that everybody does indeed piss in the gallery.

Despite being, according to the same chronicler, “very short”, Charles managed to bang his forehead against the door frame. Then, after watching the game and chatting for some time, he collapsed, and died nine hours later “on a shabby pallet,” still in the aforementioned gallery where everybody used to piss. (One can only hope they found somewhere else for this function in the meantime. Refilling the moat, perhaps.)

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March 31, 2023March 31, 2023

Lohengrin the Ludicrous

I recently had a passing encounter with Wagner’s opera Lohengrin, and I am still reeling from the ridiculousness. Fortunately it was only a passing encounter – the full opera runs just under four hours, and that’s not even counting the two intervals wherein you stagger forth to refresh your bewildered brain with an icecream.

Side Note: where English is stuck with the rather vague “full-length” to describe theatrical presentations, the Germans have the nifty word abendfüllend, meaning something that fills the evening. Wagner I imagine must have his own word: abendüberfüllend.

The story of Lohengrin goes like this. The child-Duke of Brabant has disappeared. His guardian the Count accuses the wee Duke’s big sister Elsa of murdering the poor boy in order to become Duchess of Brabant herself. He furthermore suggests that the visiting King should make him Duke of Brabant instead, thus foiling the murderess’s ambitions. (If you are feeling suspicious of the Count right now, fair enough.)

The King decides this is above his pay grade and refers the matter to God – by means of Trial By Combat. Of course, no one expects Elsa to fight for herself, being of the female persuasion, so the call goes out for volunteers. Big resounding silence, followed by a second big resounding silence at the second time of asking.

Elsa prays that God would send her a champion (a more intelligent woman might have prayed for her brother to be restored to life, or for his murderer to drop dead, but here we are) and nek minnit, here comes a boat pulled by a swan. Yes, a swan. Some people use oars, some people have even mastered the concept of the sail, but this is Wagner, so the mystical boat’s propulsion is one swanpower.

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