Mr Cornelius Recites

“I have lived in Valley Fields all my life, and would not live anywhere else if you offered me a million pounds.”

“I won’t.”

“I was born in Valley Fields, Mr Shotter, and I love the place, and I am not ashamed to say so.”

Caspar David Friedrich - Wanderer above the sea of fog
“‘Breathes there a man with soul so dead,'” inquired Mr Cornelius. “‘Who never to himself hath said, This is my own, my native land! Whose heart hath ne’er within him burn’d as home his footsteps he hath turn’d from wandering on a foreign strand?'”

“Ah!” said Sam. “That’s what we’d all like to know, wouldn’t we?”

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Pulling the House Down on Saturdays

An overbearing townie wants to buy Pippi Longstocking’s cottage and pull it down. What will she do?

Without delay, she seized the fine gentleman about his fat waist and threw him up in the air, twice. Then she carried him at arm’s length to his car and threw him into the back seat.

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