In Praise of Old Technology: The Gallus-Gallus

What, you may ask, is a Gallus-gallus? The domestic Gallus-gallus is an older garden technology, now having a well-earned return to popularity. It is absolutely the top of the line in horticultural multi-function, and quite possibly the most environmentally friendly investment you will ever make in your garden. Let’s look over some of the features.

When you see one operating, the features which come most clearly to the fore are the two cultivators. These are primarily used for weeding, but can also be deployed in the turning of compost. Though it is not solar-powered (more on this later) the cultivator function is operational throughout the daylight hours.

Flowing on from the cultivation function, the Gallus-gallus also provides a variety of pest removal services, including insect, slug, and snail disposal – and it’s entirely organic! No hazardous residues, no stand-down periods, just one dart and it’s gone. Select models also dispose of small rodents.

Furthermore, the Gallus-gallus produces large quantities of a high-quality nitrogenous fertilizer, much of which is automatically incorporated into the soil by the cultivator function. This enriches the soil in an all-natural, biologically friendly way. The Gallus-gallus will also trim your lawn.

Remarkably, in addition to the fertilizer, the by-products of the Gallus-gallus include an edible deposit which is produced in a sturdy yet biodegradable packaging. Quantities of this by-product will, however, decrease over time, and this function is likely to be the first to cease.

The Gallus-gallus is itself completely biodegradable and can be deployed as an underground soil conditioner when all functions finally cease to operate.

Ecologically friendly all along the line, the Gallus-gallus requires no cords, no battery, and runs on an affordable, readily available fuel – which is of course renewable. Notably, it performs the function of refuelling itself, requiring only access to the fuel. Furthermore, it disposes of pests by converting them to energy, thus reducing fuel costs to the owner.

In addition to its other ecologically friendly aspects, it also produces little to no noise pollution – an important consideration in the urban environment – and shuts down almost entirely during the night. (The exception to this is the fertilizer function, allowing owners of a Gallus-gallus to collect the output conveniently in a container placed for the purpose.)

It is worth noting that the Gallus-gallus is fully automatic, and providing it is fuelled, needs only access to the work area to carry out its functions throughout the day. However, some models will decrease or suspend cultivation and pest removal during periods of rain, particularly heavy rain.

The Gallus-gallus is also self-cleaning, though the provision of a fine grit can assist with keeping your Gallus-gallus in tip-top condition – again, application is entirely automatic. Breakdowns are rare, as the Gallus-gallus is well-designed and resilient.

While some setup costs are inevitable with a garden investment of this nature, the Gallus-gallus itself is inexpensive compared to many garden appliances, and the corresponding infrastructure can last a lifetime. The Gallus-gallus itself lasts generally from six to twelve years.

Please note: running a single Gallus-gallus may result in severely reduced function. For best results, a minimum of two is recommended. As they are available in a variety of styles and colours, this is no hardship, and it is not uncommon for owners to be drawn into forming a collection of these aesthetically pleasing garden aids.

With rare exceptions, it is completely safe to have your Gallus-gallus operating in an area containing children, and many children take to them with great delight. Indeed, both children and adults have reported finding pleasure and relaxation in watching their Gallus-gallus at work.

Finally, and most remarkably, it is possible to produce a new Gallus-gallus at home, and, under the right conditions – seek expert advice – the effort required to build one and bring it into operation will be just one more of the functions provided by the amazing Gallus-gallus.