The Other Half of My Brain

It is often said that one half of the world doesn’t know how the other half lives. I had no idea that this was true of brains as well. I have long been aware that there is a part of my brain that does the hidden work of creating characters and so forth. What I hadn’t realized is that this bit of my brain has such different tastes and interests as to verge on being the Other Half.

What has the Other Half been doing to spark these wild surmises, you wonder. Playing chess? Concocting recipes for a new and improved pain au chocolat? Alas, no. What I caught the other half of my brain doing, shortly before I woke this morning, was writing a country song.

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In Praise of Old Technology: the Flannel Petticoat

Flannel petticoats, where have you been all my life?

Last winter I made myself a flannel petticoat. I can’t remember why – it was just one of those sudden certainties that seize upon me (like the Dishonour Cow). I just knew that I needed a flannel petticoat, eftsoons. (2. (now archaic), soon after.)

And how right I was. You don’t notice any sudden change when you put it on of a chilly morning, but believe me, you notice when you take it off. Off your outer layers come, with scarcely a change in your temperature. And then you remove the flannel petticoat and suddenly YOU ARE COLD.

William Dyce, Welsh Landscape with Two Women Knitting, 1860. Photo- Amgueddfa Cymru, National Museum Wales.
The magic of flannel.
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Beware of the Beetle

God: Hello little beetles! I’m God.

Beetles: (trembling) H-hello…

God: Don’t worry, I’m very fond of beetles. Even people who don’t believe I exist know that.

Female Beetle: Oh, good.

God: You can never have too many beetles! There’s just no end to the things you can do with them. Well, no end to the things I can do with them, anyway. Iridescent beetles, golden beetles, beetles with glow-in-the-dark bums….

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