In Praise of Old Technology: the Carpet Sweeper

Hands up who likes vacuuming! Yeah, me neither. We do have a vacuum cleaner. I do use it. But my husband carries it from room to room and up and down the stairs for me, because the thing is built like a tank and weighs as much as a small child, assuming said small child has been dining off a pile of lead bricks washed down with a draught of liquid mercury.

Is it a vacuum cleaner? Is it a wheely bin? Is it an armoured vehicle? Or is it perhaps all three?

Don’t get me wrong, I love the sight of a freshly-vacuumed carpet, it’s just the heaving around of the bellowing machines themselves, as they belch hot air in your face, that fails to appeal. Not to mention the way they need emptying and filter-cleaning and tangle themselves up in their own cords (there’s never anywhere really convenient to plug them in) and tend to let their removable fittings come apart just when you most need them to hold tightly together.

If only there was an alternative! Oh, wait – there is. Ladies and gentlemen: the carpet sweeper!

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21% Free!

If you tootle across to this page here, you can read – for free and without signing up for anything – the first 21% of The Wound of Words in ebook form.

21% is, you may think, a rather odd percentage to set for a sample size or preview of a book. Well, it is odd. But not prime – or at least, not in the mathematical sense.

21% is just enough to get you to the end of the third chapter (if you go for the online reader option) or tantalizingly just short of the end of the third chapter (if you prefer epub, mobi or lrf).

Like a certain father who shall remain nameless, it stops just at a good bit and you have to wait till next time to find out What Happens Next – next time, in this instance, being Release Day, May 15.

I am, however, mulling over the possibility of a presale (so you can buy and read before Release Day) just for the readers of this blog – do let me know if that appeals.

Progress is also happening on the paperback front, but as with so much in the world at present, nothing is certain until it happens. I’ll keep you posted.

What Kind of Garden?

You’ve probably all seen the magazine-type articles which promise to tell you what clothing style is right for you. You may have taken the quizzes, or even tried to follow their advice. But the problem, I find, is that they have a limited number of stereotyped options: French chic, bohemian, avant-garde, glamorous… For some reason “time-travelling Anabaptist” never makes the list.

As it is with clothing style, so also with garden style – including, alas, an increasingly rapid change in fashions. Suggested styles may include cottage, Mediterranean, formal, Japanese, coastal, prairie or post-modern (plants optional). But again, what if you and your dream garden don’t fit neatly into one of those boxes?

What if your garden style is, er… whatever this is?
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