Hats divide generally into three classes: offensive hats, defensive hats, and shrapnel.
Katharine Whitehorn
Sorting Hats
It turns out J.K. Rowling was right: sorting can be done by hat. While specialist sorting may require a specialist hat, all hats are useful for the sorting of people into three basic types.
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The types are:
Those Who Wear Hats (subtypes range from Royal Ladies, to Australasians who Don’t Want Skin Cancer, to veritable Mad Hatters)
Those Who Do Not Wear Hats (subtypes include Hat Heretics and Those Who Are All About the Hair)
Those Who Do Not Wear Hats but Would Like To (subtypes including Those Who Lack Confidence and Those Whose Heads Defy the Average)
Which type are you?