Behold, the Mystery Beastie!
This particular species of Mystery Beastie already has at least nine names (seven English, two Latin, not counting subspecies names, or its many names in other languages), but frankly, none of them do the poor endangered freaky creature justice, in my opinion.
In order to give you a good all-round view of the subject to guide your naming efforts, I have gathered an assortment of images of the Mystery Beastie. (Note: clicking on an image will take you to the Wikimedia Commons page for that image, which may bestow upon you spoilers as to one or more existing names for the Mystery Beastie.)
First up, we have the Mystery Beastie as seen in a variety of artistic media. Here it is looking rather rumpled in an engraving.
And here it is in watercolour.
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And finally here it is in a coloured lithograph.
These Mystery Beasties do seem to favour their right profile, don’t they? Of course, after seeing the photo at the top of the post, one has to concede that they may be wise to do so.
Next we move on to a more scientific view (don’t worry, there will be no skeletons, stuffed beasties, or other anatomical unpleasantries).
Here is a maternal Mystery Beastie napping with her baby Mystery Beastie.
Note the interesting broken white lines – dotted lines? dashed lines? – that run along the baby’s length. As the dark brown deepens to black in the juvenile Mystery Beastie, the lines begin to fade, as can be seen in the image below.
Finally, have a look at the Mystery Beastie’s extremely remarkable feet, or possibly hooves. Front footsy on the left; back tootsies on the right.
To round out your knowledge of the Mystery Beastie, let me inform you that, like hippopotami (to whom they are not related), they are strictly herbivorous but will not let that stop them biting your arm off if they think you’re threatening their chubby little bubby.
So there you have it! What name would you give to this remarkable creature? Entries in English or scientific Latin are welcome, as are those in any other language, providing you include a simple translation. (Better include a translation for Latin, too…)
Personally, I think they look like the hybridized descendants of pigs (to whom they are not related) and elephants (to whom they are not related), disguised for some cryptic reason as pandas (to whom they are not related), but how one would go about expressing that in Linnaean terms I have no idea.
Good luck! I look forward to hearing your suggestions. Multiple entries are most certainly allowed – what’s another name or two when you’ve already got nine?
I’d call it a tapir. Which makes me think of a shape thinning to a point (a bit like its nose). But if you want a nickname, I’d want to name it after a 2-tube musical instrument (can’t think of any).
I can’t think of any 2-tube musical instruments either.
The first name I came up with was Elephasus pandaoides – from Elephas (elephant) and Sus (pig) with the second part meaning “pandalike”.
But since it is, as you observed, a tapir, a more sensible name would be Tapirus melanoleucus. Melanoleuca is the “specific epithet” of the giant panda, and means black and white. An accurate description of the Mystery Beastie, albeit failing to convey the oddity of its appearance.
I do think he needs a nicer name. Perhaps something descriptive of his white coat against his black upper body… Lab Technician, Doctor, or Scientist might suit him.
He’s also a bit like a reverse penguin, so Emperor or Blue Eyed doesn’t suit him.
But his three facial appendages are all similar shapes, so I might choose to call him after a triangle: ‘Isosceles’ seems just right!