Name the Mystery Beastie! – Deborah Makarios

Behold, the Mystery Beastie!

A strange looking animal with its mouth open toward the viewer. Above its mouth is a short trunk ending in a piglike nose. One raggedy ear is visible on its black somewhat horselike head. The front half of the animal seems black and its back half white.

This particular species of Mystery Beastie already has at least nine names (seven English, two Latin, not counting subspecies names, or its many names in other languages), but frankly, none of them do the poor endangered freaky creature justice, in my opinion.

In order to give you a good all-round view of the subject to guide your naming efforts, I have gathered an assortment of images of the Mystery Beastie. (Note: clicking on an image will take you to the Wikimedia Commons page for that image, which may bestow upon you spoilers as to one or more existing names for the Mystery Beastie.)

First up, we have the Mystery Beastie as seen in a variety of artistic media. Here it is looking rather rumpled in an engraving.

Black and white engraving of Mystery Beastie, seen side on, standing in tallish grass.

And here it is in watercolour.

Watercolour of Mystery Beastie, side on, on a reddish path worn in a grassy slope.

And finally here it is in a coloured lithograph.

A coloured lithograph of two Mystery Beasties. One is seen side on up to its knees in water. The other is largely submerged in the water, with only its head and part of its back visible.

These Mystery Beasties do seem to favour their right profile, don’t they? Of course, after seeing the photo at the top of the post, one has to concede that they may be wise to do so.

Next we move on to a more scientific view (don’t worry, there will be no skeletons, stuffed beasties, or other anatomical unpleasantries).

Here is a maternal Mystery Beastie napping with her baby Mystery Beastie.

A black and white mother Mystery Beastie lies with her legs curled under her. Beside her, a baby Mystery Beastie, brown and cream with white dotted lines from end to end, lies asleep on its side.

Note the interesting broken white lines – dotted lines? dashed lines? – that run along the baby’s length. As the dark brown deepens to black in the juvenile Mystery Beastie, the lines begin to fade, as can be seen in the image below.

A mother and juvenile Mystery Beastie, grazing on a tree branch. The juvenile has the same black and white division as the mother, but still has faint white dotted lines along its length.

Finally, have a look at the Mystery Beastie’s extremely remarkable feet, or possibly hooves. Front footsy on the left; back tootsies on the right.

Two side by side images showing the front and back feet of the Mystery Beastie. Each foot looks rather like a very obese brownish starfish with sharp edges.

To round out your knowledge of the Mystery Beastie, let me inform you that, like hippopotami (to whom they are not related), they are strictly herbivorous but will not let that stop them biting your arm off if they think you’re threatening their chubby little bubby.

A Mystery Beastie looking quizzically at the viewer. From this angle, its head looks like that of a pig.

So there you have it! What name would you give to this remarkable creature? Entries in English or scientific Latin are welcome, as are those in any other language, providing you include a simple translation. (Better include a translation for Latin, too…)

Personally, I think they look like the hybridized descendants of pigs (to whom they are not related) and elephants (to whom they are not related), disguised for some cryptic reason as pandas (to whom they are not related), but how one would go about expressing that in Linnaean terms I have no idea.

Good luck! I look forward to hearing your suggestions. Multiple entries are most certainly allowed – what’s another name or two when you’ve already got nine?

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