Search Terms of 2016

It is always interesting to find out what people were actually looking for when they found this blog. Happily, WordPress lets me indulge this curiosity by giving me a list. Let us delve, therefore, into the strange and murky depths of the catalogue.

2011 Library of Congress USA 5466788868 card catalog86 searches were simply for ‘deborah makarios’ – hello, Google-stalkers! It always helps if you know what you are looking for in this life, and since I’m about the only Deborah Makarios in these here interwebs, I flatter myself that these 86 searches at least, got where they intended to go. (Be careful what you wish for.)

Handwork formed something of a theme among the more common searches. Nine were for variations on ‘what do I use instead of a darning egg?’ Eight would have found their answer here; the ninth, who wanted to know how to make one, probably went empty away. (Ideas?)

Six searches came to roost on my review of the Karnation needles, though whether they were looking for a review or the needles themselves, I couldn’t say. The needles, you may be interested to hear, are still going strong; I’ve even managed to get the 16-inch cord to work.

One searcher wondered ‘how to make a nightgown out of a sheet’ – like this one. The two searches for ‘deborah makarios jabberwocky patterns’ knew exactly what they wanted – and got it – and so, I suspect, did the person searching for ‘fantastical taxedermy’. This would be a bit much of a coincidence if not.

Unlucky Jackalope 4891624513Eight searchers were puzzling over the meaning of wearing a padlock around the neck, including one who asked if it was offensive (I hope not), one who asked what it means when a man wears one (no idea), and one who simply search for ‘a padlock’ and who may or may not have been startled at what they fished up. Incidentally, while the description of the padlock says it has a brass hasp, the reality is that it has a brass-coloured hasp. Or rather, had. Now it’s just plain steel.

Three searchers were looking for the Shakespeare mask – by which I presume they mean the Guy Fawkes/V for Vendetta/Anonymous mask as shown here. Another three were looking for floor-scrubbing, and found their way to the post in question alongside a couple of searchers who seemed to be looking for the first picture therein.

Then there were the search terms I flatly fail to understand: two searches for ‘makarios shine’ (I don’t think I do), and one for ‘the magic tea and books image’. Sounds fun – I wonder if they found it. Also ‘figure skating spins’ which I’m pretty sure I’ve never mentioned. Until now.

Yukari Nakano donut2Then there were those – always dear to my heart – in search of eccentricity: ‘how eccentric am i’ asked one, and was promptly provided with a helpful assessment tool. Another was looking for ‘suitably eccentric,’ and I certainly hope they found it here. One searcher wanted ‘reasons for being odd one out’ – though if they were hoping for explanation rather than motivation, they may have been disappointed.

One looked for ‘wizards in english literature’ – a popular post; I think people enjoy having lists of things. I am still embarrassed about changing the title from ‘favourite wizards’ to ‘great wizards’ only to realize, after I’d posted it, that one definitely qualified only for the former category, as I’m the only one who’s ever encountered him.

One searched for ‘nightmares mining’ – one of my earliest posts. Another searched for ‘honoria plum’ – she’s over here; Wodehouse fans take a look. One poor soul searched for ‘pretending lazy husband’ – mine isn’t. Others searched for help with procrastination (try here and here), or getting out of bed (see previous), or a secret identity name generator (this post might have what you’re looking for).

Rh Louise Crawford22
Other odds and ends include Agamemnon’s bath (here, with a lot of other bathers); ‘god is working his purpose out nicholas nickleby’ – a good song, it’s by Arthur Campbell Ainger; ‘women signature fountain pen ink color’ – mine is Havana Brown; ‘makarios sex’ – none of your business; and ‘connotation of virtue’ – a question which is still waiting for an answer, so feel free to add one.

And then of course there are the 546 search terms designated as ‘unknown’!

What search term first brought you here? And if you’re a blogger yourself, what are the highlights from your search term list?

How I Hemmed (At Last)

Ever have one of those experiences where you think you know what you’re doing, and before you know it, you’re in over your head? I recently bought a new dress online to wear to a friend’s wedding. Unfortunately, I failed to pay sufficient attention to the measurements given: it pooled on the floor at my feet.

1912 evening dress
Not to worry, said I to myself, said I: I can take the hem up. I had taken hems up before: a pencil skirt for work, a dress that was a tad too long – even my wedding dress. But there was, I found, a difference with this dress. Yes, it was already hemmed, but being a light, loose fabric it stretched with the application of gravity (unevenly, of course – not everything is exactly on the bias). I couldn’t depend on the existing hem as a guideline.

I turned, therefore, to another recent acquisition: a book entitled The Complete Book of Sewing by Constance Talbot. It’s a general reference on dressmaking, dressing, millinery and household sewing such as upholstery and curtains. It has a lot to say about hems, but the part which particularly caught my attention was the section on “How to Hang a Skirt” – not, as you might think, how to put it away in the wardrobe, but how to mark where the hem should be; presumably called “hanging” a skirt because of the way skirts stretch when hung (it’s that gravity thing again).

There are a number of methods given for finding this line – best done while you are wearing the skirt unless you have an exact body double to hand. (While I do have the exoskeleton, it won’t stand the way I do until I pad the inside to hold at one angle.)  The classic method is, of course, to stand on a stool or table and slowly turn while a Helpful Person inserts pins at the desired height. (Inserts pins into the skirt, that is. Not you.)

Brooklyn Museum - The Fitting - Mary Cassatt - overall
Of course, this requires the availability of a Helpful Person, and mine was temporarily out of action. Moving on, then to the clever ways of marking a skirt all by yourself. The ideal way is to have a skirt-marking gadget which you set to the desired height. Then all you have to do is squeeze the bulb to have a line of chalk puffed onto your skirt as you turn – see here for visuals. Rather like an automated Helpful Person, but hard to come by these days.

The third option requires no Helpful Person or specialized equipment, other than some tailor’s chalk and a sharp-edged table. You rub the chalk on the edge of the table, and then you press up against it as you turn. Take skirt off, measure down desired length from line, mark hem, voila. In theory. I tried it, and while I didn’t get a usable hem line, I did get tailor’s chalk all over my dress. Fail.

Having now run through all the available methods, I turned to sitting on the stairs and brooding on my incompetence. All right, I hadn’t tried quite all the methods. Jennifer Garner says “You can do a lot with Scotch tape. Almost anything! I love that you can hem a dress,” but no. I was desperate, but not quite Scotch-tape desperate.

office-899351_640I got sick of being desperate, and sitting on the stairs trying to come up with new ways of measuring a hem, and I went to bed. The next day, I laid the dress out flat and laid a dress with a satisfactory hem over it. They weren’t the same width, but I was still desperate. I pushed on. Then, having marked a line and pinned it up, I put the dress on, climbed on a stool, and besought my Helpful Person (once more in working order) to eyeball it for me. Straight? No.

I had one last idea. I put the new dress on. Then I put the old dress on – the one with the satisfactory hem. Then my Helpful Person (God bless him!) made a line of pins in the new dress where the old dress came to, and I marked down four centimetres from the line (the new dress being lighter, and lighter dresses looking shorter if a tad too short) and there we had it. A hemline. Phew.

That left only the problem that I had to cut some of the fabric off (which might change the hang of what was left) because there was too much extra to ease into the new hem. Internet to the rescue! I found this advice – with pictures – which not only allowed me to check the hem-length part-way through the operation, but meant I didn’t have to rethread my sewing machine, as the first line of stitching is not visible from the outside. I did the hemstitching by hand, because the dress hem is in two colours, and in any case the hand-hem is less obtrusive. Which is just as well, as my threads weren’t perfect matches.

Leighton-Stitching the Standard
Then I realized I had quite a bit of fabric left over, so I used it to make a matching kerchief (or Super-Bandanna). By this time the deadline was getting very close, and I ended up sewing on the contrast section by hand in the train on the way to the wedding. While listening to the ladies across the aisle talk about how young people just don’t have sewing skills any more. I thought about ‘accidentally’ rolling my thimble across the floor and retrieving it from amongst their feet, but I decided against it. I have few enough sewing skills: better to keep quiet and look like I know what I’m doing than to open my mouth and show how little I really know.

But at least now I know how to get a good hem (and hemline) on a full, light skirt.